As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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