Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
