I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
