U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
