dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
