we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
