YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
