Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Holy shit dude........stairs
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
