you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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