I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
