Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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