Dual....:-)
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
