Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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