Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
