just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
