She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
