At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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