Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This is my gift to your gina
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
