I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
