BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
