South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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