i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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