Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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