guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
