i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
