great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
