***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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