hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
