just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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