Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
