Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
