Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We left an ass print on the piano.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
