Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Randomize
