she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
