So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize
