We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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