I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
