Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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