i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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