No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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