If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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