just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You need a sexual gate keeper
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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