Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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