that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i think i just lost a toe
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
