There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You can't special order awesome
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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