that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
