you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
