i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
