I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
