I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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