I hope mine doesn't look like that
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
