Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
